• Transylvanian puzzle

A Transylvanian guy at booking office:
- Ma’am, fast, a ticket for the train to Cluj!
- The train to Cluj just left!
- Where?

• Magic and parrot

A magician was performing on a ship – weekly shows.
He had different audience each time, so he could make the same tricks. The only problem was the captain’s parrot that had begun to understand the clues and started to reveal the secrets:
- Look, it’s not the same hat!
- Look, the flowers are under the table!
- Look, he has some playing cards hidden in his sleeve!
...and so on.
The magician was angry but helpless. One day the ship was wrecked and the only two survivors were the magician and the parrot. After a few days of silent floating on broken woods, the parrot shyly asked: ‘OK, I give up! Where’s the ship?’

• Photo math

A guy entered a photo shop.
- Please, give me a box of black& white photo paper.
- 9 x 13?
- 117 ! But why do you ask?

• Wartime assessment

The guardian of a fort in the Wild West was screaming:
- Captain, the Indians are coming!!!
- Friends or enemies?
- I think they are friends, because they are coming together!

• Meeting on the Moon

Stepping on the moon surface, Neil Armstrong saw some strange footsteps, looking like peasant sandals.
He went to a crater and saw there an unbelievable image: a guy with a small black and a money-belt:
- Servus, Ion’s my name!
The astronaut was astonished:
- And where are you from?
- Well, I’m from Sibiu.
- And how did you get here?!
- To sell cheese, what else...

• Jokes with and about Scots

How’s starting a recipe in the Scottish cooking books?
…You borrow…

A Scot is writing to his son:
…I send you 10 bucks, as you asked. But remember, 10 is with one ‘zero’, not two…

- My son owes you the money for a suit made three years ago.
- And you came for giving me the money, that’s right?
- No! I’d like to order a suit in the same conditions…

‘Knock-knock’ at the door. The Scot sent his son to see who it was.
- Daddy, this is a guy gathering donations for the new city swimming pool!
- Well, give him a bucket of water ….

A Scottish Dad is finishing the letter to his son:
"I’d like to send you some money, but unfortunately the envelope was already close… "

A Scottish policeman was asked about how dissipating the participants to an illegal manifestation.
- I’d take off my helmet and start a money collect…

A young man came to the Scottish owner of a night club.
- I’m a professional masseur: for 20 bucks per month I’m ready to massage your striptease girls.
- O.K! Give me the money and you may start right now …

A Scottish guy got a local phone call:
- Hello, John? My friend, I’m in a big trouble and I urgently need 10 pounds…Can you lend me?
- What? I can’t hear a word…awful connection…
- I need 10 pounds! … almost shouts the other guy.
- Hello – the operator intervenes – this man needs 10 pounds from you, Mr. John!
- You know something? If you hear so well, why don’t YOU lend him 10 pounds?

A Scottish economist was asked about the difference between labor and capital.
- It’s simple – lend me one thousand pounds and I’ll use them as capital. Then try to get them back from me. You’ll se then what labor means.